Wednesday, 2 April 2008

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


WOW

Hello Everyone,

See what happens when we go away for a while we get 41 comments lolll. How are you guys, hope everyone is fine? We are fine and everything is great, we have had a busy last week then there is Nigeria's heat and Nepa. We cant complain,we have taken time out to read all your comments, rants, questions etc and we will respond soon.

However, a very important topic since the whole ring issue came up. Is proposing a Nigerian thing? Or do we just talk about getting married and do it? Must you wear an engagement ring before you are married? What does an engagement ring mean to you? Can you value a ring just by looking at it or you just think you can? All girls want expensive rings but if your boyfriend gave you a cheap ring will you say no to his proposal? Guys do you feel spending over 250k naira on your bride to be's ring a waste? What is an acceptable ring? Lets discuss. Take care everyone and thank you as always.
Muah,
Molara & Gbemi

17 comments:

yankeenaijachick said...

@weddingvogue..wow am first. Hey, ur girl is not engaged but just a promise ring. Ah, engagement ring mean a lot to me. I wouldn't mind a guy spending a million for me o cos hello!!! Am going to show it to my girls and you know you want them to be like wow wow wow and not like. It's ok. lol

Anonymous said...

I would rather get a "modest" half carat ring than a big fake cubic zirconia aka "CZ" ring. I think the engagement ring matters these days, maybe 10-15 years ago it was not a big deal in naija. We have stepped up our game in naija in terms of western infiltration so why not add the act of proposing with an engagement ting to the list. It is a sign of commitment between the couple and can mean other things such as abstinence before the wedding.

Anonymous said...

What is the deal with promise rings? are they supposed to be pre-engagement rings? Or "baby, hang on to this while I stash up to get you your dream ring" ??? Boloni.. you are either engaged or not, what is with the promise to promise to be together as couple. Just my 2 kobo.

I forgot to add this to my previous post.

Oyemvwe said...

Hallo hallo out there ladies, sorry about the whole NEPA thingy, may God minister to those NEPA people, in Jesus Name, AMEN.
Anyhow, this whole ring thing I think is the advent of the westernization of Africans. Back in the day, the bride price/dowry was paid and that was the end of the conversation. However in this day and age we want to do it ALL. Now I have a very nice ring thank you. However I think noone should break their neck to buy the most expensive ring on the market. Trust me the diamonds ain't gonna feed you honey. It is better for the broda to buy the one that he can afford now and upgrade you as things get better. Me I think that is the beauty of it, the ring gets more sophisticated, the rock gets bigger and the style more fabulous.
Now back to the whole westernization of Africans, I mean our own ga ju gan sef. Not only do we have traditional weddings we also have the "white" wedding. We end up spending 4x as much as the white folk, because we also have 10times as many guests as our white counterparts. That is why you don't see them stressing and boning on their wedding day; they did not go and borrow money to je party, they cut their coat according to their material.
My two cents o!

Anonymous said...

haba at above;.-)
they do stress and borrow money but they r already used to borrowing money and living off credit cards.... nobody in naija is lending u money for wedding o..besides thats y wedddings r family things with evryone chipping in...
the wedding industry in the west is a multi-billion industry so i9t must be pretty imporant to them too...
in all things there r levels.. some have the 25k budget wedding, some have the 2k wedding...all that mattters is that u r married and happy..
not sure what all this 'western infiltration' thing means... i was a lil bride for my aunt who got married in 1983..they had a trad an d white wedding....my parents did too though they got married in america and that was in the 60s so its def. nothing new...
trad marriage gives u all the rights and benefits of a trad marriage but its hard to hold that up in a court in nigeria without the court having to go into customary law and determining what and what applies...they weill have to call experts on both sides and there is a certain element of uncertainty.. under the Marriage Act, every thing is spelt out and the reasons for bringing dicorce proceedings must be justified.. harder than a guy saying "i divorce u" 3 times... i wldnt advice anyone not to have a "white wedding"- mind u its the licence that is signed that makes it valid, not that it was in church, a church is just one of the approved places where it can be held.... so pls i dnt subscribe tot he notion that proposals are not anigeian thing.. as bywn ol boy and ol girl, he suppose ask!
me iwanted and got a correct engmnt ring, what is correct is subjective....

zhala

OluwaDee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OluwaDee said...

4 me, the rings doesnt have to be expensive, as long as it looks good & will last.

D engagement ring is kinda necessary, it all depends on the space btw d marriage talks n wen u actually get married.

Some1 calls it a shark repeller, showing other men that u r taken. lol

pink gloves said...

the ring must look a certain way. It also depends on the purchasing power of the man in question. Some men can afford $40K, and some can afford $250. I am not particular, but any cheap thing will not do. Abeg let the diamond have real good clarity and be in a style that i like, afterall i have to wear it. Anything bigger than 2carats is just obnoxious in my opinion.

No one should break bank to buy a ring for a woman. However, if the man can afford to do so, there is no point in being cheap about it.

Oyemvwe said...

*** Cough Cough*** Well said Pink Gloves, I think if the broda can afford a nice ring, then get it and show ya love, but ladies please do not let us get caught up in this whole 1 carat vs 10 carats ring. I say it is the thought that he put into it that counts and besides if your man knows you well enough, he ain't gonna get u any cheap old bauble, he would get something befitting for his bride to be. The ring is a symbol of committment and faithfulness in the relationship, so it is not supposed to be the object or the deciding factor in the relationship.

BTW Zhala, the folks in Naija will tell you the scoop that people do borrow money for weddings et al. They take up collateral against their homes, lend money from their banks, they just don't publicize it. So while family does chip in, Nigerians are not exempt from the whole wedding on borrowed money business. Another way this is exemplified is all the unpaid vendor balances after the weddings. No way no how can you do that here in the states. Until the services are fully paid for u do not get JACK!

Oyemvwe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sasha said...

@oyemvwe- I couldn't agree more with your comment. I don't why people think folks in niaja don't borrow for their weddings....just because they don't use credit cards. Like you rightly pointed out, the unpaid vendors who will come pounding on your door the day after the wedding will testify to the debt owed.

On the issue about ring(find this hilarious since 2 peeps had a squabble about rings in the last post). Me thinks, a man should buy what he can afford at the time of the engagement and upgrade as time goes on afterall what you like now, you may not like in 3 or 5 years, hence the upgrade. I for one, will have my bling bling upgraded in a year or 2.
As for the promise ring, what is that about?...A promise to marry you when he is ready as in he can play the field while you wait for him. I think that is crap. We are either engaged or we are not. period.

Anonymous said...

thanks for updating guys...soo many questions, will try and b brief jare. ok...
Proposing is traditionally not a nig thing but since nig is copying alot of things from the west, might as well copy that too, no? an engagement ring means a lot to me! nuff said...boyfi will not even b tht cheap to gimme a cheap ring so...i dont think anyone should steal to buy ring, cut ya coat according to ya size...btw, its d thot tht counts

Godisalive said...

my 4 cents ...im sure i have heard somewhere that the man should spend at least 2 months salary on the engagement ring. my husband to be has said how much he spends is up to him and he thinks i deserve as much as he can afford so i think all men should apply that.

How much a guy spends(actual amount) should not be the important factor, it should be how much he thinks his wife is worth....forget dowry, most parents give it back anyway...lol..ive told my parents to. Afterall im not a goat for sale. I would like to think im worth more than 5000 naira lol.

Peaceeeeeeee

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

ok i feel slightly weird leaving this comment but i really dont see what d big deal is in having a ring or not, does d ring make u any less engaged? if my boyfriend spent more money than he could afford on a ring for me, thats my sign right there not to marry him cos simply put he has the tendency to live above his means, simple and short.

Uzo said...

LOL....Yes to engagement rings. Yes to not breaking the bank...No to promise rings. I know some people dont really care about rings. Preferring to just get married. Depends on the people involved. My parents have been married for 28 years and my moms bridal set has been upgraded 3 times....So upgrades are possible....

I just love this stuff...What i cannot stand are these cheap ass fake gold and massive stone sets that i see a lot of women wearing here....So not nice...

LadyMissB said...

I think that engagement rings are a nice way for a man to symbolize his love and willigness to commit himself to you...FOREVER!However, of course every gil wants a 7 carat diamond ring but we can't all get what we wantan we?The man shouldnt burn his pockets to buy an engagement ring...u will live with him in poverty after d wedding and might have to pawn your ring for garri!Ladies i think that any engagement ring should eb special and cherished because it came from ur man.I'd rather a small real engagement ring to a big gaudy fake cubic zirconia ring or worse...*shivers*

dresses said...

Guys do you feel spending over 250k naira on your bride to be's ring a waste?